Stick Shift Sunday

Guess what I can now drive people. A STICK SHIFT!!! It is incredible like I feel like I have joined this amazing club. Just kidding that might be a little bit of an exaggeration... but still i feel kinda cool that I can do that now. So you are probably asking yourself, "Brianne how on earth did you learn to drive stick?" Well it all started Saturday night at about 10:00pm Ivan and I had just adjourned from the movie theater after catching the night's showing of Paranormal Activity 2.

Which I have to say was a little awkward cuz it was like I don't want to get into deep with Ivan cause he works at Siz and if I start to get into it with Bryce (which I do want) I don't want that awkwardness, and then there is the whole Seth situation to take into consideration. Which I have to say I am not feelin' his attitude lately. Like he was all cool and understanding about like the church and me. But now he makes these stupid 'Mormon boy' comments and stuff that make me want to punch him in the balls. Which is not a normal reaction to something he says for me.

Anyway. We were making our way out of the theater when it was brought up that I can't drive a stick. And the next thing I know we were sitting in the empty Micheal's Parking lot and I am behind the wheel of his civic. Honestly there were a couple of times when like I was sure I had totally killed his car. And even more times when we were both like collapsed in laughter at me. But I totally became pro. And side note drifting in a car is soooooo fun. He was like getting his Paul Walker on and seriously doing all this insane stuff. I loved it.

But at the same time I felt kinda horrible cuz like I really just want to be strictly frends and I know he wants to be like a lot better frends then I do. If u catch my drift. And he is like really good looking and a really fun and all that, but its just like I dono I just feel like stuff is happening with Bryce and ya know it would be awkward to like work with them both. Like if it were Brooks or Jake or something I would be way more into it then with Ivan, cause I just think it would be easier then saying "hey Ivan I don't want to hook up with you because I am hooking up with that guy right there so u guys have a good shift." Like I would feel really bad, (I mean hooking up in the Mormon definition of the word btw). I dono I really just want to like see how things go with Bryce right now like I kinda wanna focus on that goal at the moment =). And guys I know I seriously had my last like 3 blogs kinda go to him but like I dono I can't help it. I don't really know how this ended up about him again. But its like this blog has kinda turned into a diary where I like barf out everything I am thinking and try and sort through it. And right now I am thinking a lot about him. Like I have been praying for him and I want everything to be great but I dono. Just like it feels like more serious then a crush. Like He makes me smile for no reason and I know I am probably making a bigger deal of this than it is. Maybe but just I really am so unequipped to deal with guys that I have no idea what I am doing. I just feel lost but I am like loving it. So ya that's what I am dealing with down here. Hope everything is great up home. Love you guys!

PS if u have any ideas or just want to talk to me call me cause I don't have anyone I know well enough to talk about personal stuff like this with SO ONE OF YOU TWO NEED TO CALL ME, PLEASE! Cause I am freaking out with this all just sitting in my brain working its self up.