W T Flip-flops

It is officially spring. Which for me means a few things. Its time for fires (which will not be the same not in Sara's back yard), snowboarding slush fests, trying to convince myself that 60 degrees is perfect tanning weather, and barbeque's. Just to name a few. Another aspect of spring that I love is the wardrobe. Ya, that does make me a little vain, but whatever its true. Its fun to have the excuse to buy new clothes. And it's even funner to see how pretty you look in them with a light spring tan. Side note- Hi, my name is Brianne and I'm a tanaholic. . Anyways, back to spring wardrobes... As everyone knows old navy flip flops are a spring/summer must have. And as everyone also knows I have a tendency to loose my shoes in the summer as fast as a drunk girl with low self esteem losses her v-card on prom night. So I needed to stock up on these wonderful little rubber and foam things. (I had to add in the and foam part so that didn't sound dirty.) Like so I'm at Old Navy and I'm like I said stocking up. So I go up to the counter with my dozen pair. And guess what the lady says. She literally goes, "You know most kids in Africa don't even have shoes?" Really lady, REALLY! In the first place those $2.50 a pair flip-flops aren't practical for life in Africa. Like I don't feel like you could run very far from a lion in them (not racist). And I was kinda mad that she was totally judging me and I go, "Well I have 7 pairs of Tom's shoes, so I know at least 7 kids in Africa have shoes." Which is a lie I only have one pair of Tom's shoes but 7 gets my point across better. But she just gave me this rude look and I just smiled back at her and walked out of the store. But who seriously does that. For all she knows those are the only shoes I own or something. Like honestly, sorry but your job isn't to make me feel bad about myself. Its to ring up my reasonably priced clothing and other various items you can pick up at an old navy. And I didn't have enough cash with me so I have to go back to get some other colors I had to leave behind. And if I see her again it will be soooo awkward.

Kids Say The Darnedest Things

So last Sunday I went to my sister's ward. It just worked out better with them leaving for Brax's surgery and me having to take Leks and everything. But anyways we are sitting in the chapel and like the other wards priesthood was singing in the cultural hall and so we could over hear them through the little divider things. And so we are sitting there like taking the sacrament. Then we hear this little kid like go "Mommy can you hear that singing?" Then there is this pause and then you hear him again like "Wait a sec, Is that god singing?" So I almost spit my little plastic cup full of water all over this poor little deacon when I hear this cuz I couldn't control my laughter. It was by far the best non spiritual experience I've ever had at church. Actually nope, Dave's stink bomb attack of '04 is still number one. But that is hilarious right?

I'm Checking Myself Into Rehab

The first 24 hours are supposedly the hardest for like addicts or whatever, right? Well I have successfully made it through my first full day of no contact from Seth since before Christmas. So not saying I had an addiction to him and definitely not implying going through a break up and detoxing from like say heroine are the same thing. But going off the same basic principle, I'm successfully through the suckiest part of recovery!

But I'm over blogging about this topic. So this is like the purging of him from my mind, and getting on with my life. Like that one lyric in Jude Law and The Semester Abroad says "No more songs about you. After this one I'm done. You'll be gone." So after this blog I'm over it and he'll be gone. At least according to Jesse Lacey thats what should happen. So this is it I guess... Anyways back to the rehab thing. Really its useless drama and stress in my life. A relationship is like the worst thing for me right now. I'm out of here in like 2 and 1/2 months anyways. Why do I want to be getting all serious and crap with someone in the first place. It would just make leaving even worse than it will be as it is. That being said. My crazy self destructive side tends to come out it situations like this. Which makes sticking to what I know deep down is really the best thing super difficult. So to keep me on track I made my own 12 step program to get over this stupid boy (and to stay away from all the other stupid boys out there as well.) Here is what I'm going to focus on from now on.

1. Working out I don't think anything makes you feel better than killing your self at the gym and knowing you are getting hotter in the process. Seriously so fulfilling.
2. Being a better nanny Being with those kids made me feel so happy today. They are so much fun to be around. I need to try and find things to do with them and junk to make me the coolest nanny ever! BTW I don't think I've even really blogged about them. I will though.
3. Snowboarding I haven't really been up as much as I would've liked to this season and I pretty much only have this month left. But nothing clears my head more than just going up, plugging my headphones in, and just riding. Maybe I'll buy a long board this spring and try it on like the golf cart paths. Like try and get the same affect.
4. Family I really love chillin with the fam and don't get to very often.
5. Work I try and drop shifts at the Siz like no ones business. I'm going to work at least 4 shifts a week from now on.
6. Photography I haven't gone out and taken pictures since like summer. I love it though and really have a passion for it. I need to start again.
7. Read a book (like for fun) I don't really do this but time to see what all the hype is about I guess. Cuz everyones always like "OMG! Books, there awesome!"
8. Crafts/Painting I miss craft days. I know it won't be the same without Kris and Sara though.
9. Institute Stuff I don't really go to as much as I used to. And I really have fun pretty much every time I'm there.
10. Service Cheesy and lame, but you really feel better when you make others feel better
11. Finish the Book of Mormon before June Ya, I admit I've never actually read it. But I'm in Mosiah 16 which is pretty far... kinda
12. Gospel So the last few numbers kinda fall under this but I know its absolutely true. And centering my life around it will help me get over this more than anything else.

So I think focusing my life on this stuff will help me get out of this rut I'm in. Like I've seriously been listening to John Mayer and The Fray all weekend. I don't think anybody gets how bad this really is for me =). THE FRAY PEOPLE! Just thank God I haven't like slipped to Josh Groban or something cuz that is truly rock bottom. So on top of this I'm going sober until I'm out of Flag. Boys are just trouble. No more till I leave. I swear.

I'm Like What Would Happen If Lauren Conrad And Rob Dyrdek Had A Baby

I feel like the fact I don't have a reality show is kinda unfair. Like if all this crazy stuff is going to happen to me, I should at least be getting paid for it. Seriously I could have like a #1 rated show on any weekday prime time slot. And I'm not exaggerating here.

Take for instance my last 48 hours. Seth went out with Poocha and Kayla Thursday night to Collins. There they ran into Will and his girlfriend. During this story keep in mind that they are all (excuse me) shitfaced. So, Will's girlfriend got kicked out of the bar. And so her and Seth were outside and the girl kissed Seth. Apparently Will was watching them and so he runs over and tackles the pair, then takes off down Leroux. Only to be found hours later wandering around downtown shoeless (what happened to his shoes is still a mystery). So I get a call at like 3:30 on Friday from Seth telling me like an even more shortened version of this. And I'd been contemplating breaking up with him for like the past two weeks. So cuz of our schedules I couldn't talk to him today until three. So I was planning on just watching my niece in the morning because my family had a funeral (which is another crazy story for another time).

Then at like 8 in the morning our doorbell rings. And who happens to be at the door? My parents! And I was so happy to see them. But in my mind I was like "crap they really don't know anything about Seth. How am I supposed to explain leaving randomly at 3 for who knows how long?" So I basically sneak out, and that turned pointless because I ended up telling them anyways.

So I meet Seth at Thrope park and we walk up the road to like this little rock area and we talk for a while and its like this whole horrible thing. Like I seriously have never had that hard of a conversation with anyone before. I just like It really hurt him I think and it really sucked. I honestly when we like hugged goodbye almost started to cry. Then I go to the NAU game and run into one of his friends.

So ya, just another day in the life basically. Seriously why don't I have a show. Drama and quirky adventures just naturally find me. Its crazy. Plus like I really don't know what to do with my whole Seth situation because I think I just feel bad but now I really miss him and really want to get back with him. I think its just going through the whole ending the relationship process but I still like really really really miss him right now. Idono my life is insane.