Monday, March 7, 2011

I'm Checking Myself Into Rehab

The first 24 hours are supposedly the hardest for like addicts or whatever, right? Well I have successfully made it through my first full day of no contact from Seth since before Christmas. So not saying I had an addiction to him and definitely not implying going through a break up and detoxing from like say heroine are the same thing. But going off the same basic principle, I'm successfully through the suckiest part of recovery!

But I'm over blogging about this topic. So this is like the purging of him from my mind, and getting on with my life. Like that one lyric in Jude Law and The Semester Abroad says "No more songs about you. After this one I'm done. You'll be gone." So after this blog I'm over it and he'll be gone. At least according to Jesse Lacey thats what should happen. So this is it I guess... Anyways back to the rehab thing. Really its useless drama and stress in my life. A relationship is like the worst thing for me right now. I'm out of here in like 2 and 1/2 months anyways. Why do I want to be getting all serious and crap with someone in the first place. It would just make leaving even worse than it will be as it is. That being said. My crazy self destructive side tends to come out it situations like this. Which makes sticking to what I know deep down is really the best thing super difficult. So to keep me on track I made my own 12 step program to get over this stupid boy (and to stay away from all the other stupid boys out there as well.) Here is what I'm going to focus on from now on.
  1. Working out I don't think anything makes you feel better than killing your self at the gym and knowing you are getting hotter in the process. Seriously so fulfilling.
  2. Being a better nanny Being with those kids made me feel so happy today. They are so much fun to be around. I need to try and find things to do with them and junk to make me the coolest nanny ever! BTW I don't think I've even really blogged about them. I will though.
  3. Snowboarding I haven't really been up as much as I would've liked to this season and I pretty much only have this month left. But nothing clears my head more than just going up, plugging my headphones in, and just riding. Maybe I'll buy a long board this spring and try it on like the golf cart paths. Like try and get the same affect.
  4. Family I really love chillin with the fam and don't get to very often.
  5. Work I try and drop shifts at the Siz like no ones business. I'm going to work at least 4 shifts a week from now on.
  6. Photography I haven't gone out and taken pictures since like summer. I love it though and really have a passion for it. I need to start again.
  7. Read a book (like for fun) I don't really do this but time to see what all the hype is about I guess. Cuz everyones always like "OMG! Books, there awesome!"
  8. Crafts/Painting I miss craft days. I know it won't be the same without Kris and Sara though.
  9. Institute Stuff I don't really go to as much as I used to. And I really have fun pretty much every time I'm there.
  10. Service Cheesy and lame, but you really feel better when you make others feel better
  11. Finish the Book of Mormon before June Ya, I admit I've never actually read it. But I'm in Mosiah 16 which is pretty far... kinda
  12. Gospel So the last few numbers kinda fall under this but I know its absolutely true. And centering my life around it will help me get over this more than anything else.
So I think focusing my life on this stuff will help me get out of this rut I'm in. Like I've seriously been listening to John Mayer and The Fray all weekend. I don't think anybody gets how bad this really is for me =). THE FRAY PEOPLE! Just thank God I haven't like slipped to Josh Groban or something cuz that is truly rock bottom. So on top of this I'm going sober until I'm out of Flag. Boys are just trouble. No more till I leave. I swear.

1 comment:

  1. brianne. there are several comments i have in response to this k?
    1. the day you get back we're having a craft day k?
    2. i'm way impressed you're in Mosiah. I'm only in second nephi. so way to go.
    3. I thought you liked the fray. John Mayer though, that is pathetic. If you EVER sink so low as josh groban then I will teleport to flagstaff to slap some sense in to you.
    4. I think I'm out of things to say. If i can think of any more I'll let you know.
    5. I lied. Books: read the BOOK THIEF. I say this about everything, but it actually is the best book EVER!

    now, since i've written a comment as long as the post itself i'm done. love you!
    p.s. i'm so glad I got to talk to you for a total of like 45 minutes last week. it was great.

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